How Blog Writing Helps Bipolar Like Me (and keeping me sane)

This time I will tell how blog writing helps bipolar like me. I am a very active internet user. Never a day I missed without using the internet. With that facility, plus the anxiety disorder that causes me to be lazy to meet anyone makes me very often berate on the internet.

It’s not that difficult, being a smart guy on the internet. With a little copy and paste, people can easily look smart or wise. But not so with me. I was also diagnosed with schizophrenia, which means a lot of whispers in my ear. If I tell you, I can be considered insane. That’s why I write.

So what do I have now? Bipolar, anxiety disorder and schizophrenia. Really a troublesome combination. Before writing a blog, I use the variety of social media to express what I feel, see or hear. As a result, many of my relatives who knew about my illness started giving me bits of advice on things they don’t even understand. Shit.

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I am often dumbfounded, not doing anything all day except caring for the little one that is now separated away from me. Sometimes I think it’s better for him to be away from me so that his development is not disturbed. Often I get annoyed without cause, and my son became my target because only he was there for me.

Now I miss him so much, and I want to change everything I’ve ever done with my life to always be with him. But every time I see him happy without me, I resist the desire to meet him.

Ain’t it funny, how is my source of happiness the source of my misery? Not a person to blame, but myself. Even though people say self-blame is not good, then who is wrong? It could end up blaming destiny. And that’s ridiculous.

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How Blog Writing Really Helps

Back to the topic of how blog writing helps me as bipolar. The answer is simple, I need a place for my anger, a place where I can pour out my feelings honestly. Without judgment from others. And know if writing an article that read just one minute just take hours?

It gives me something to kill my time with, so I do not have time to listen to the voices I hear as people diagnosed with schizophrenia.

My partner suggested I write a book, and I have written some books I sell on iBooks and Amazon. But lately I feel more comfortable writing a blog, my psychiatrist also supports this idea. And coincidentally, I really need to talk at length about something I feel without disturbing other’s social media timeline.

Check this link to my books.

As I write more and more, I start gradually making it a shared place between bipolar and caregiver. It’s great when my writing can inspire those who are less excited. And obviously, by writing a blog, my time to annoy people I care about is reduced.

If you are reading this, the chance is you’re bipolar or a caregiver looking for advice. This is my advice, start writing a blog. If it helps me, it will help others like me. Start by checking the link I provided below, it’s easy even for a no-brainer like me.

How To Start A Blog

My Story As a Person Suffering Bipolar Disorder & Anxiety Disorder Pt. 01

Prologue

My story as a person suffering from bipolar disorder & anxiety disorder

For those who have been following this website since the beginning (when I was still running this blog with a bipolar niche), you may have read whatever I told you before. But believe me, that’s not all. So, please keep reading. 🙂

I just found out that I was bipolar about a year ago. After my soul mate asked my psychiatrist what kind of illness I actually suffered.

Anxiety Disorder

My anxiety disorder makes it difficult for me to talk to anyone, including my psychiatrist. That is the wrong move. I tend to close myself, in fact, I rarely get out of my room, unless I have to go to the toilet.

Sometimes my brother would say hello when paid me a visit, “hi, what’s up? Why the long face?”

My back pain (Herniated nucleus pulposus = HNP) and anxiety made me prefer not to leave the house. I was even too lazy to bathe or shave. My only friends were my dad, my youngest child because his elder sister had become a teenager. As a teenager, the elder one tends to start demanding privacy. Thank’s for them, 9GAG and Facebook that really helped me through my darkest hours. Oh, and to MG, my dead friend who always been there when I need a good random chat on WhatsApp.

In despair, I decided to take a frantic step, which is to undergo a spinal surgery with paralysis risk. I was lucky not to be paralyzed but unfortunately, my back pain is still there as well. And again my youngest son was the one who was always there to ease my pain.

That made me feel skeptical about medical treatment.

At first, I was diagnosed with schizophrenia, probably because I initially went to a small hospital behind the house. You know, it was hard for me to walk less than a quarter mile because I was too nervous. My anxiety made my palms wet. Imagine this, I had to go to the hospital because I suddenly felt paranoid or (I don’t know the word), but I got scared to go out. Duh…

Although I thank the doctors there, it turned out they wrongly gave me medicine. My chest beat faster than before, and my view became blurred. A good friend of mine picked me up and took me to my psychiatrist.

 

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I’ll write more in the next part because I don’t want to skip my meds.

Stay tuned by following this blog. 🙂